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REVIEWS
as you are., Washington, D.C.
August 9, 2024
The Cool Girl Shirl from as you are bar is like the first thing on the cocktail menu, and I didn't want a beer so it seemed like a golden opportunity for a review. A dirty shirley isn't traditional, so I wasn't expecting classic childhood perfection. But this was just gross.
They used blueberry vodka...a bold choice for sure. I can kind of see the concept, but blueberry vodka made it taste like something a freshman would try to make for a pregame. And maybe you would say that that's exactly what a dirty shirley is. Well, fine. But it was difficult to get through more than half of this. And aren't shirley temples supposed to be fun?
I did not finish it. Sometimes drinks get better as you go on. But this shirley collided with the god-awful music playing that night, and so I had more fun drinking water and dancing with Ellery despite the general disappointment in the atmosphere.
Even though as you are is D.C.'s lamest gay bar, it can still be fun to sit on comfy leather couches and play board games. But if DJ Bite Back is playing the night you think about going, just stay home.
FINAL RATING: 1/5 maraschino cherries
Comet Ping Pong, Washington, D.C.
July 25, 2024
Oh Comet....you never fail me. Punk shows, delicious pizza, nostalgic cartoons, and now a near-perfect shirley temple. I'm so glad you weren't actually hiding children in your non existent basement.
I ordered this soda with my bestie Ava, who got a cream soda and said this shirley temple reminded them of cherry candy.
The red glass that it was served in was a bit disorienting at first...it could've been concealing a pale seltzer water situation, but thankfully was not.
I definitely tasted grenadine first, and it was lemon-lime based (yay!). Super bubbly, and included a cherry, which my last restaurant shirley weirdly did not.
It was delicious, classic, and at a neighborhood favorite pizza place. All-in-all, a wonderful shirley temple experience.
FINAL RATING: 4/5 maraschino cherries
Ava cameo!!
SLYCE Pizza, Madeira Beach, FL
July 19, 2024
I ordered this Shirley Temple with my grandmother at a coastal Florida shopping center. The restaurant specialized in personal pizzas and beet salad. It was incredibly loud inside but too hot to sit out, and so we watched an international rock-lifting competition over each other’s shoulders while Gram told me about her trips to nude beaches in St. Maarten (strategic, to avoid the children of European tourists).
Let’s be honest. The Pepsi logo should’ve been a warning that this shirley temple would be subpar. When it arrived unmixed, I still had hope. But even after stirring, it was stunningly average.
It was not super citrusy—I don’t know what Pepsi branded Sprite-substitute this pizza chain uses, but it was more soda water than sweet. And I love seltzer, of course, but that’s not a shirley temple. It was a bit watered down and overall just fine to sip on but nothing special. I was jealous of my grandma’s Arnold Palmer, but she didn’t finish her mocktail either, and so I guess we both walked away disappointed.
FINAL RATING: 2/5 maraschino cherries
Boylan Bottling Co.
July 15, 2024
I was nervous to write my first review, but this bottled shirley temple from Boylan Bottling Co. did not dissapoint. It was exatly what I was hoping to encounter--something unexpected, referential, and almost subverstive.
First impressions: a charming bottle with nice design. Classic color.
The first taste hit me with ginger, and it lingered. There was no waxy, syrupy residue in my mouth afterwards, and it was smooth to sip. There was crisp but light carbonation, and absolutely minimal (possibly nonexistant) mouth and teeth staining. Of course, it was sweet.
The Boylan's Shirley has a simple but elevated ingredient list; notably cane sugar and "fruit and vegetable juice" for coloring. It doesn't taste beety.
Overall, an elevated shirley temple. I think it could be made into a cocktail, and strive to be more than a simple Dirty Shirley. With some soda water, muddled ginger, and lime, Boylan's shirley could hope to become a sweet Moscow mule variant. It would be fantastic served with a lime wedge.
And although I respect Boylan's callback to ginger ale tradition, it was precisely that citrus flavor which I missed in this soda. In its quest for sophistiaction, it may lose a bit of childhood nostalgia which makes a perfect Shirley Temple irresistable.
FINAL RATING: 3/5 maraschino cherries
